Who are you?

I once had occasion to address a room full of adults and the first thing I said to them was, "Who are you?"

They answered in terms of what they do or like to do:

• nurse
• student
• carpenter
• skier
• golfer etc.

In terms of their relationship to others:

• brother
• mother
• son etc.

By associations:

• feminist
• Christian
• liberal etc.

In terms of problems:

• diabetic
• cancer patient 
• a victim of some sort etc.

We define ourselves by what we do, what we believe, our relationship to others and our pain.  None of these is who we are.  We are far far greater than any of that.  If you think you are what you believe, do, or feel then you are limiting your SELF unnecessarily.  But it's worse than that.  Much worse.

If your identity is tied to being a doctor, say, and someone makes a disparaging comment about doctors, then you will feel angry and upset.  You have a position to defend.  The more you identify with being a doctor the more defensive you will be.  Because you will feel that the person who made the remark is attacking your very being.  (The person who made the comment probably didn't know you are a doctor, or you read it somewhere and the person doesn't even know you--yet you are simmering in anger.)

If your sense of self, of who you are, is tied to what you do, then what happens when (for whatever reason) you can't do it anymore?  You have to either re-invent yourself or die.  This is why people retire and then die.  Or never retire.  They don't know who they are if they aren't doing what they think they are anymore.

If your identity is tied to being a mother, what happens when your kids leave home?  Or if they don't want to talk to you anymore?  What happens if someone inadvertently or with good intentions disparages your technique?

How can you be well if who you are is an illness?

If you have your sense of SELF tied to any of these then you will feel personally attacked if you perceive a threat.  And you will perceive a threat at the slightest provocation, because your very SELF is at stake and you have to be right.

What does that cost you?

Why not find out who and what you really are instead?  You can reside in your SELF, inviolate.  You can still do what you do, believe what you believe, love who you love and you will stand in your knowledge of your SELF, which no one can take from you.  If someone makes a comment that is not in line with what you think, do or feel, you won't take it personally and you will allow them to think, feel, say or do whatever they want.  What is it to you?

Every ONE of us is sacred.  No ONE of us is more or less important than any other.  Don't allow the world to define who you are.  Only you get to do that.

Who are you anyway?